The “stolen kiss,” often playfully enacted during recess as part of “dare or not dare” games and glamorized on screen as a romantic gesture, lacks the fervor and passion one might expect. In the post-#MeToo era, surprising a woman with a kiss, imposing one’s lips upon hers without warning, amounts to nothing less than a blatant act of sexual assault, rather than a clumsy “attempt at seduction.”
The ‘Stolen Kiss’ Still Sadly Relevant
In popular imagination, the “stolen kiss” was once seen as a trifling act, a sign that the heart had overruled reason. It illustrated the courage to confess one’s feelings, an impulsive romantic gesture, or even an unexpected moment of passion. On screen, the one who “steals” a kiss is often portrayed as someone brave enough to break through the barriers of shyness.
While Disney’s charming princes may be the iconic instigators of non-consensual kissing, they are far from the only ones who feel entitled to place their lips upon those of women without consent. A historical “stolen kiss,” emblematic of liberty, was famously captured at the end of World War II. That notable 1945 photograph, which surely graces the pages of history textbooks, depicts a sailor passionately kissing a nurse in the bustling Times Square of New York.
At first glance, one might think of a fiery reunion between a war survivor and his beloved. However, this image more accurately depicts an abuse of power, a form of insidious harassment that often goes unrecognized. The man in uniform forcefully seized this stranger’s mouth, trapping her in this unwarranted embrace.
Similar scenes replayed themselves 80 years later on the field at the FIFA Women’s World Cup, when Luis Rubiales grabbed Jenni Hermoso’s head to plant an unwanted kiss on her. This incident, which reverberated through the sports world, stained the victory of the Spanish players. Whereas earlier such incidents might have been dismissed as mere emotional outbursts, today, they stand as unequivocal evidence of sexual assault.
The ‘Stolen Kiss’ Borders on Illegality
It’s not just hands that wander without consent; lips do so too, transgressing the laws of intimacy. From the playground, the “stolen kiss” has been trivialized into a playful game, akin to a twisted version of “tag.” The process? Boys chase girls with puckered lips to plant a quick kiss before fleeing like rascals. However, this is far from innocent or amusing.
As a misguided pastime marked by “Don Juan” behavior, the “stolen kiss” calls for significant consequences. Remaining passive in the face of this oral hostage-taking ultimately implies that women’s bodies are up for grabs. In Colorado, for instance, a school made a decisive stand against such behavior: they suspended a 6-year-old boy caught in the act of kissing a classmate who clearly resisted. This action sparked outrage among the parents of the boy, who felt that labeling it “sexual harassment” was too exaggerated for children who barely understand anatomy.
In situations like this, reversing culpability is a common tactic. Girls often find themselves branded as overly sensitive, unable to “take a joke,” or portrayed as drama queens overreacting to minor incidents. Yet bestowing a kiss under duress violates consent and treats women’s bodies as a given. It is crucial that we teach the importance of consent early on, well before giving lessons on reproduction.
Consent: An Essential Priority
For years, amidst crude remarks, hands under skirts, aggressive workplace flirting, and marital rape, the concept of consent was effectively nonexistent and carried no legal weight. During this time, men felt untouchable, shielded by their “dominant” status, regarding women’s bodies as their property.
Despite the powerful #MeToo movement and the subsequent flood of revelations, consent still appears to be treated as optional in some contexts, or even a utopian concept in certain countries. According to data from the World Health Organization, 840 million women globally are collateral victims of this “anything goes” mentality. Nearly one in three women has faced domestic or sexual violence in her lifetime. Silence is not an invitation, and women’s bodies are certainly not toys, meant to fulfill fantasies and impulses.
Consent should be an automatic expectation, not a rare exception. The “stolen kiss,” a remnant of an era when courting was synonymous with harassment, no longer leads to romantic bliss but rather into a cramped cell. It is no longer a poetic expression of a romantic challenge but a legal misstep.
