These situations are presented to us as “normal.” We’ve been hearing them since childhood, like an unavoidable background hum. However, behind these customs lie profound issues of violence. On Instagram, Flavie Milsonneau (@flavie.m_tca) shared a video highlighting eight common experiences in a woman’s life. These are situations that many dismiss as trivial but actually contribute to a system of persistent pressure—especially regarding women’s bodies and their presence in public spaces. Identifying these experiences marks the beginning of their deconstruction.
1. Feeling the need to “be careful” throughout your life
“Be careful”—careful of what, exactly? Your skirt, your neckline, your way of laughing, walking, speaking, or getting home. This constant vigilance gradually begins to feel normal. However, anticipating danger or judgment is anything but trivial. This mental burden, internalized at an early age, restricts women’s spontaneity and freedom. It teaches that your safety relies on your behavior rather than on the respect of others.
2. Receiving comments about your body
“Have you lost weight?”, “You’ve gained hips,”, “You should be careful.” Remarks about one’s physique are often masked as concern or compliments. Yet, whether positive or negative, they tie your worth to your appearance. Your body is not a public debate; it doesn’t need to be evaluated or commented upon. It belongs to you, in all its diversity, strength, softness, shapes, and transformations.
3. Denying yourself food because you’ve “already eaten too much”
Restricting oneself after a meal, feeling guilty about dessert, compensating for a moment of culinary joy—these reflexes among many women are so widespread that they seem normal. However, they indicate a troubled relationship with food, often fueled by external pressures. Eating when you’re hungry, savoring your meals, and listening to your body’s signals are simple yet powerful acts. Your body deserves nourishment, not punishment.
4. Enduring weight-related jokes at family gatherings
The infamous “We hardly recognize you anymore” tossed in between cheese and dessert. Light jabs regarded as “just for fun” regarding your shape, silhouette, and appetite. Because this occurs within the family, it’s supposed to be acceptable. Yet, this supposed humor doesn’t erase the impact. Such repetitive comments directed at women (and sometimes men) can undermine self-esteem, instilling the idea that your body is a collective topic. Your appearance is not a joke.
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5. Fear of going out alone at night
Crossing the street, clutching your keys, sharing your location. This fear is often framed as a legitimate precaution for women. And it is—yet it also reveals a harsh truth: public spaces are not experienced the same way by everyone. When fear becomes a standard behavior, it is more than mere caution; it indicates a significant imbalance.
6. Hearing comments about your plate
“Wow, you eat well!”, “Are you sure you’ll finish all that?” Again, control manifests through what’s on your plate. What you eat becomes a moral indicator. Such comments suggest that women should eat minimally, discreetly, and without causing disturbance. But your appetite is neither excessive nor unacceptable; it is alive, legitimate, and natural.
7. Being interrupted or ignored because you are a woman
In meetings, debates, or discussions at the table: you start a sentence, and someone cuts you off. You propose an idea, and it is suddenly validated when echoed by a man. This still-common occurrence obscures women’s voices. Being heard should never be a privilege; your voice has equal value, relevance, and legitimacy.
8. Being bombarded by images of a “perfect body”
From advertisements to social media and magazines, a singular, idealized image is omnipresent—smooth, slender, young, airbrushed. With constant exposure, this ideal becomes the implicit norm. However, true beauty resides in plurality. It exists in diverse shapes, sizes, skin tones, and narratives. Moving away from these unrealistic standards is a pathway to reclaiming power over your self-image and esteem.
In conclusion, Flavie Milsonneau highlights an essential point: as long as these situations are not recognized as problematic, they will continue to be endured in silence. Naming these experiences is a declaration against their trivialization. It acknowledges that the pressures exerted on women’s bodies and behaviors are not mere details; they are deep-seated mechanisms. Gradually distancing oneself from them is a way to reclaim space, freedom, and confidence. Your body is not a problem to be fixed. Your existence is not a mistake to be downplayed. You have the right to fully exist without apology.
